I'm a Single Pringle!

*Disclaimer Almost all of the stuff I am quoting is from Pastor Ben Lamb from Grace Point church. He did all the research, I am just putting his points into my blog because he did an amazing job today presenting this very hard topic. *

I started visiting a new church two weeks ago, just to give me a change in scenery. This church, Grace Point, has started a series called "Fixing Us" and it is about relationships. This week's message was, "The message every 'single' person needs to hear". The emphasis was on single, meaning everyone of us needs to hear it, but it was pertaining to single-hood. When I heard about the topic last week, I was very excited.

This next part is going to be me summarizing, using excerpts from the handout that Pastor Ben had during his message and interjecting my own personal thoughts. *My intro is bland and to the point because I wanna get to the good stuff and because I am sick. So, please forgive me.* 

Pastor Ben on Singleness:

He started off with this verse from Psalm 37:3-5 (NLT)

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act." 

My thoughts on this verse first:  "befriend faithfulness" this phrase can relate to a relationship, any relationship be it sibling, parental or with your significant other. But first and foremost, we need to be faithful in our relationship with God. Next part, "he will give you the desires of your heart" when we "delight" ourselves in the Lord. We must also "commit our ways to the Lord" and "trust in him". First off, we have to be active in our relationship with God. We have a part to play here.

Pastor Ben:

"If you have the desire to be married, I assure you that God also wants you to be married. God is a good Father who only gives good gifts to His children."

Pastor Ben talked about how each of us were a gift from God, and that we had to take care of our gift. He also said that "The reason you're single could be because you aren't a good gift yet. It doesn't' mean you are rotten, you're just not ready." Our lives are made up of different times and seasons. For example, the time and season I am in right now (graduate school for my masters in teaching and working full time) is not the wisest time for me to pursue a relationship with anyone. I am focused on serving God and following this step he has placed in front of me. I know that by going to Grad school, I am following His will for me to use my gifts to serve Him better. I honestly don't believe that it would be wise for me to pursue a relationship or to even look for one right now because of the season I am in right now. Does this mean that if I meet someone who is amazing and great, that they aren't from God? No, God could have me meet someone next week who seems "perfect" for me. But, I don't honestly think He would do that. Not when I am striving to follow His will for me. 

Moving on. Pastor Ben then used a passage from 1 Corinthians to emphasize the positive thing about being Single.  

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (NLT)

"I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible." 

I believe that this passage from Paul is not speaking against marriage, just letting the people of the Corinthian church (and every believer in the future) know that there is a massive positive side to being single, you are able to serve God without your interests being divided like they would be when married. He isn't saying that you can't serve God when you are married, it is just in a different capacity. When you are married, you have obligations and duties to your spouse and to God. But, since I am not married, I don't really know what those are, so I shall move on! 

Next, Pastor Ben addressed 5 lies that we are led to believe about marriage and single hood.

1. God has forgotten me. - False, he has not forgotten us. 

2. God is punishing me. -False, He is not punishing you, He is preparing you.

3. God will do it all for you. -False, we cannot lock ourselves up at home and expect God to drop our future spouse off at the door like package delivered from Fed-Ex

4. There is a magical someone out there for me. -False. This is from Pastor Ben who did the research. Did you know that Plato was the originator of the "soul mate" theory. Something along the lines of Plato said that a soul was split into two, one male, one female. And that they were the only right ones for each other. If this is true, then what happens if someone marries the wrong person? It messes EVERYONE up. 

Pastor Ben had this to say:

 "A soul mate isn't something you find; a soul mate is someone you intentionally and prayerfully become.God desires for us to have a soul mate. And the one He wants us to have is the one to whom we already said, "I do." (that is Jesus) God designed real and lasting love to be something you do, not something you mystically have."

5. Finding someone will complete me. -False, if someone can "complete" you, then they have the ability to "un-complete" you. "It is not about Chemistry, it is about Character."

To sum all of this up, Pastor Ben finished with the verse from Proverbs 4:23 (NLT):
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life." 

So, my final thoughts on all this:

I desire to be married some day. But, I have always said I would rather be single than married to the wrong person. This means I have work to do. I have to seek God, build my relationship in Him, I have to make myself the person that the person I am looking for, is looking for. Is it going to be easy? HA! No. Am I going to get lonely? Oh yeah. But I take comfort in knowing that right now, I am where God wants me to be and I get to serve him with out distractions. 

Peace and Love to all

-Boots ;)

PS. if there are any spelling/ grammar mistakes, please forgive me and don't judge too harshly. My English Major brain is turned off due to being sick.