Crazy Things Student's Say

Last year in China, my teammate Hannah had the foresight to start a quote book. I thought this was a great idea and loved it! And, I ended up in said quote book a lot because, I often speak without thinking. Near the end of the year, a lot of our students began saying funny things and they began popping up in our quote book. When I cam back to America, I knew that I wanted to keep a quote book of things my students here in America said. I was unsure if it would make any sense, but it has paid off already. My High school Speech Class and my 8th grade Bible class all know I keep one and constantly ask if they are in it yet. To make sure no one is embarrassed, I keep it completely anonymous. Some are really funny, others are just strange. I hope these at least bring a smile to your face on this very cold winter day.

2nd Grade Student: “Mrs. Jordan…”

Me: “Miss. Miss Jordan, I am not married.”

Student: “Well, I know...but I wish you were married!”

Me: “Why???”

Student: “So I could meet your husband!”

1st grade Girl: “You AREN’T MARRIED????!!!! Then why do you have a job?”

I was too busy laughing, so I couldn't explain that unmarried people also need to work.

(Apparently a lot of my students are concerned with the fact that I am not married or seeing anyone. I feel like I am back in China. *sigh*)

8th grade boy: "Guuuuuyyyyyys, she is giving us that look again! That means she wants us to be... quiet..."

Student talking about his Speech Topic: 

What I heard: “I think Skirts should be shorter."

What he said: "I think school days should be shorter."

Student playing off the "skirt" joke: “I want to do a speech on long skirts or short skirts, I like short…. just kidding Miss Jordan!”

Student: “You’re killing me Mr. Jones” 

Mr. A. Jones: “Eh, death happens”

-(He is their English Teacher and I happened to be walking by)

6th Grade Boy: “So in Asia, they put this fan on the roof and it gets the humiliation….err, humidity out of the room.” 

Speech Student Male:

What he said "I need to gain my composure"

What I heard: "I am in a gang."

9th Grade Speech Student: “Narwhals are REAL??? I thought they were like unicorns, made up!”

To which a female student replied:  “Ah, narwhals, the unicorns of the ocean!”

7th grade student: “Miss J, last night I was watching Doctor Who, and a character looked just like you!”

Me: “Aw how cool! which episode?” *conversation ensues*

Later, as I walked away, her friend says: “See she is cool, she likes Doctor Who”

(Coolness factor just went up!)

*upon hearing a loud noise outside my classroom*

Student 1: “Was that a bomb?”

Student 2: “If you call Mr. Jones The Bomb, then yes!”

*quiet giggling ensues*

*30 seconds later* Student 3: "That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

“Aliens would find us ugly”- Impromptu speech on beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Speech Student A: “I know nothing about politics, so vote for me…”

Speech Student B: “ Like Obama”

Speech Student before class began- “Adolf Hitler was rejected from art school. One thing led to another and the US dropped atomic bombs on Japan. " (Uh what? Where did this come from???)

Student 1: "G, what is your speech on?"

Student G: "Bad things!"

Anyways, so far these kids have been keeping me on my toes and making me laugh almost every day. I love my job so much! As this new year begins, I am eager to see what things my students are going to say and what kind of challenges they bring me.

- <3 -

Hilary